The Awesome Train Podcast

We've ran out of track

2011-01-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

Hey Awesome Train fans. We are going to take a break for awhile to focus on other stuff going on - jobs, house, family, etc. - so we won't be able to post shows for awhile. We hope to be up and running again in the near future, so keep your iTunes subscription or your RSS feed for the Awesome Train. Unfortunately the resource we use to host shows will only let us keep 1 gigabytes of old episodes with our account turned off, so I am going to have delete a lot of the old shows to allow for that.

Talk to you soon.
Jonathan and Louise

Awesome Train podcast #055

2010-11-20T22:27:00.000-08:00

November 21st, 2010
THIS WEEK, the Awesome Train drinks Four Loko during the show - we give tips on the best way to photoshoot your wiener if you are going to send pictures to your lover - drunken ramblings during podcast due to alcohol (sorry) - penis size charts - ugly people now have a dating site - and some news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #055

MUSIC FEATURED:
Heavy Young Heathens: 'Jackie Come Lately'
Teen Daze: 'Wide Eyes (Teen Daze Remix)'
Deerhunter: 'Helicopter'
Lissie: 'Pursuit of Happiness (Kid Cudi cover)'

LINKS:
Jessica Simpson's engagement is "just coincidence"
Brett Favre: Master of the Weiner Picture
Measure Up: A woman's penis size preference chart
Your laptop could be cooking your testicles
Dating website for the "aesthetically challenged"
Facebook Status Updates Tell the Story of Romance Gone Awry

EXPLICIT (for some language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
00:56:21, 26.3Mb

Jonathan, & Louise
***Please leave comments!

Awesome Train podcast #054

2010-11-02T20:36:00.000-07:00

November 2nd, 2010
THIS WEEK, the Awesome Train takes the kids to a inappropriate haunted house - Taylor Swift has made her fortunes being a slut and writing about guys she banged who left her - we "bear down to push something large out of a small hole" - and some news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #054

MUSIC FEATURED:
Kosha Dillz: 'DooDoo'
Teen Daze: 'Gone For The Summer'
Ray LaMontagne & The Pariah Dogs: 'Are We Really Through'
Keepaway: 'Yellow Wings'

LINKS:
Facebook users 'are insecure, narcissistic and have low self-esteem'
Four-Loko is "Blackout in a can"
The chicks from 'Glee' are in GQ

EXPLICIT (for some language/content)
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00:43:05, 19.7Mb

Jonathan, & Louise
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Drunk Kitty

2010-10-29T06:55:00.001-07:00

Apparently the Awesome Train is now the Cat Video Train. I can't say I complain. This video was submitted by a fan, Katie.

Stalker Cat

2010-10-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

Submitted by Pat.

Cat Massage Therapy

2010-09-23T11:54:00.001-07:00

We Have A Rapist in Linkin Park

2010-09-20T15:09:00.001-07:00

Inception Cat

2010-09-17T09:26:00.001-07:00

"Inception cat will haunt your dreams". Personally, I peed myself watching this.

Awesome Train podcast #053

2010-09-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

September 13th, 2010
THIS WEEK, the Awesome Train has a full-on, double rainbow after school special discussion on the house of ill repute, "ye old strip club". All we can say, is "Listen buddy, I got a nice set of t&a at home to keep me satisfied". (Hit the 20 minute mark for the story, definitely worth it.) And some random news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #053

MUSIC FEATURED:
Aracde Fire: 'Ready to Start'
Miniature Tigers: 'Bullfighter Jacket'
GroupLove: 'Colours'

LINKS:
Facebook users 'are insecure, narcissistic and have low self-esteem'
Anti-product placement with Snooki
the best of IKEA Craigslist sex
Caroline Wozniacki's U.S. Open Outfit: Is Dress Too Short?

EXPLICIT (for some language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
00:59:07, 27.2Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #052

2010-09-01T20:29:00.000-07:00

September 1st, 2010
THIS WEEK, a guy gets pulled over marinating his cat (alive) in his trunk - Louise asserts her estrogen on the show by sharing her banana-chocolate chip muffin recipe - we try out the Harry Popper® brand condom - get some blisters on our mouth off a used condom we found - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #052

MUSIC FEATURED:
Parades: 'Past Lives'
Chief: 'Night and Day'
Teen Daze: 'June 2010'
Jimmy Gnecco: 'The Heart'

LINKS:
21 year old arrested after posing as 14 year old to join pee wee football
Anne Hathaway's pixie haircut
Hermione Granger's pixie haircut
Marinated cat rescued from car trunk before becoming owners meal
Outrage over cat tossed in trash
Boy blistered after licking used condom
Keith Stone
Harry Popper condoms
Peeping Tom at Florida Hess Station says "I didn't do anything."

EXPLICIT (for some language/content)
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00:59:07, 22.2Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #051.3

2010-08-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

August 25th, 2010
SHOW 51.3, and Louise 69's the ER - Jonathan slugs through another family get together - the 5 layers of chicken skin new KFC Skinwich - and new music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #051.3

MUSIC FEATURED:
Crystal Castles: 'Celestica'
Dan Auerbach: 'When the Night Comes'

LINKS:
Denny's Fried Cheese Melt
KFC's new Skinwich

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
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00:36:12, 16.8Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #051.2

2010-08-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

August 24th, 2010
SHOW 51.2, and we are wondering if we got screwed at our neighbors garage sale - we hate Wolfman and Bounty Hunter (but love Scott Pilgrim) - Louise makes a Death Muffin - and new music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #051.2

MUSIC FEATURED:
Best Coast: 'Boyfriend'
Sex Bob-Omb: 'We Are Sex-Bob-Omb'

LINKS:
GO SEE Scott Pilgrim VS the World

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00:17:00, 8Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #051.1

2010-08-23T21:06:00.000-07:00

August 23rd, 2010
THIS WEEK we're shaking it up, doing one new topic every night of the week. Short and sweet and new everyday! Tonight Louise sounds off about anything bi-lingual - Jonathan questions GPS dong trackers - and of course some new music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #051.1

MUSIC FEATURED:
The Salvadors: 'Atacama Disco'
Blithe Field: 'Bible School'

LINKS:
Bi-lingual Cuyahoga County voter ballots

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
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00:12:10, 5.8Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #050

2010-08-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

August 11th, 2010
THIS WEEK, we celebrate the triumphant show #50! Special guest stars Samuel L. Jackson and center square Shadoe Stevens stop by - we hide the kids and wives per Antoine Dodson's instructions - Louise rambles out a mouse catchin' story - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #050

MUSIC FEATURED:
Sleigh Bells: 'Tell 'Em'
Wakey Wakey: 'Square Peg Round Hole'
Born Ruffians: 'The Suburbs'
The New Pornographers: 'Sweet Talk, Sweet Talk'

LINKS:
Antoine Dodson news story
Antoine Dodson remix
No McNuggest at 6:30AM=WAR
World Sauna Champion dies
JetBlue flight attendant quits by yelling at passengers, grabs a few beers and rides the inflatable slide out of the plane
Kid busted for pot and porn declares it to the neighborhood as his punishment

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
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00:45:54, 21Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #049

2010-08-04T20:05:00.000-07:00

August 4th, 2010
THIS WEEK, we ponder getting superpowers in exchange for being affectionate with our parents - we vet Basil Marceaux's platform for Tennessee Governor - vacation stories - we try getting high off of mp3's - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #049

MUSIC FEATURED:
Neon Trees: 'Animal'
Summer Camp: 'Ghost Train'
Arcade Fire: 'The Suburbs'
Major Lazer & La Roux: 'Bulletproof (Nacey Remix ft. Matt Hemerlein)'

LINKS:
iDosing news story
iDosing sample track
Basil Marceaux wants to be your Governor, Tennessee

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
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00:52:56, 24.4Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #048

2010-07-02T20:07:00.000-07:00

July 2nd, 2010
THIS WEEK, General Grievous mask (on the album art) takes on the wiener pullers of Chatroulette - we find the S. African rape condom, or as Louise calls it "a can of mace in your crotch" - we teach neighborhood dogs some obedience - should your kid have a Facebook page or a cell phone? - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #048

MUSIC FEATURED:
Gauntlet Hair: 'I Was Thinking...'
Broken Social Scene: 'Texaco Bitches'
Wavves: 'King of the Beach'
the National: 'England'

LINKS:
South African doctor invents female condom (with teeth) to fight off rapists
Jeremy London is forced to do all the drugs he likes
Racis Hallmark graduation card?
Swedish princess marries nerdy trainer
Chat Roulette

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
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00:48:53, 22.6Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #047

2010-06-08T21:13:00.000-07:00

June 8th, 2010
What the WHAT!? The Awesome Train lives? Hellz yes it does, welcome back.
THIS WEEK, we're GoGurtin' at work - inappropriately attracting men with our wine cooler drinking skills - joining our high schools wolf pack clique - covering our butt cracks with Backtacular - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #047

MUSIC FEATURED:
M.I.A.: 'Born Free'
The National: 'Conversation 16'
Last Dinosaurs: 'Honolulu'
HEALTH: 'In Heat (Javelin Remix)'

LINKS:
Teen wolves descend upon San Antonio high schools
5 Things You Might Be Doing to Sabotage Your Relationship
Chat Roulette
The Brevard County doctor who was arrested for groping a woman while dressed as Captain America with a burrito in his pants will not go to jail.
Backtacular

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
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00:45:45, 21.2Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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This video is incredible

2010-05-26T14:18:00.001-07:00

Old Man Johnny says...

2010-04-19T08:13:00.000-07:00

Ke$ha performed on SNL this past weekend, apparently a big hit with the kids.

First off, her name is pronounced like "Ketchup", which is odd.

Next, her 'Tik Tok' song is good but she comes across as a neighborhood girl doing a talent show. A performer she is not.

For her second song, she covered herself in glow in the dark paint and tried her best to be relevant and make you care.

Basically, she is something to look at just doing what she can to make you see her amidst Lady Gaga's craziness and she is horrible beyond her hit song.

Awesome Train podcast #046

2010-04-07T20:21:00.000-07:00

April 7th, 2010
THIS WEEK, we're bustin' caps in home invasions - poop in (what we thought was) our girlfriends car - Greg breaks out his coke eyes for the ladies of speed dating - drop the low note singing the ABC's - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #046

MUSIC FEATURED:
the Soft Pack: 'C'mon'
Mumford & Sons: 'The Cave'
The Morning Benders: 'Excuses'
KIT: 'Animals'

LINKS:
Geek/Nerd/Dork Venn Diagram
9 Teenagers Are Charged After Classmate's Suicide
NJ Teen sold stepsister, 7, for party sex
Man caught pooping in strangers car
101 year old woman is growing a horn out of her head

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
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00:49:11, 22.5Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #045

2010-04-04T18:24:00.000-07:00

April 4th, 2010
THIS WEEK, we're back with a EXPLOSIVE show. We question the best way to ruin the Easter Bunny myth for the kids - acknowledge that Justin Bieber looks like a butch lesbian - a GuyTalk topic gets "flambasted" - cut our vag while driving with our ex-husband to see our boyfriend - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #045

MUSIC FEATURED:
Bear Hands: 'What A Drag'
Mumford & Sons: 'Little Lion Man'
Vampire Weekend: 'The Kids Don't Stand A Chance (Miike Snow remix)'
Snoop Doggy Dogg: 'Doggy Dogg World'

LINKS:
The 100 Unsexiest Men of the Year
Jesse James had 11 mistress (via the Superficial)
Broken-hearted man cuts off own penis
Woman cuts vagina while driving

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
00:58:43, 27Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Hiatus

2010-03-17T09:20:00.000-07:00

Because ~~so many of you~~ one of you wondered where we went to, we are on a short hiatus.

Between vacations (Texas!?) and over booking ourselves (Greg), we don't have time to put a show together. We will have a new show the week of March 29th so keep yours hands to yourself until then.

You can also subscribe to the PODCAST on iTunes and be notified when a new show is up.

Stay vigilant.

I'm Wearing Green

2010-03-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

So I feel like a total ass today.

This morning while running a errand I saw a older woman wearing a shamrock scarf. "HARUMPH!" I said to myself and scoffed at her. "Look at this loser wearing a St. Patrick's day scarf. Clearly she has no friends and is a loser who dresses up for holidays." (Yes, I judged her purely for wearing a holiday scarf).

I end up getting into work and while standing around talking with co-workers, someone says "Oh look! If only Sally had wore green we would all match!" I think to myself, "WTF is this person talking about." I look around and see everyone is wearing green -- then I quickly realize they are doing this because it is St. Patrick's Day -- I then realize that inadvertently put on a green sweater today.

So despite all my efforts to hate on and judge people who dress according to the holiday, I became one of them.

"LOOK AT ME! It's St. Patrick's Day and I am wearing green with all my co-workers to celebrate. We are a really cool bunch. We were red on Valentine's Day and orange for Halloween and we get really crazy and wear RED WHITE AND BLUE on the Fourth of July!"

We Work Hard…. But We Play Hard Too!

2010-03-13T07:11:00.000-08:00

One thing in my ever-growing list of things that annoy me about corporate America is this concept of “work hard/play hard.” Who came up with this? It is basically the most annoying blend of pompous self-importance and annoying, overage frat-boy that I can imagine.

Interviewer: (very serious tone) As you can see our company is very busy. Its not uncommon to work 70 hours in a week here. We work really hard… (fake smile and lighthearted tone) But we also like to have fun! Our department is crazy! You never know when there's going to be NERF footballs flying around! I mean who has NERF footballs in an office?!? How zany is that!?!? We work hard... but we play even harder! (fake laugh and awkward pat on the shoulder) We go to happy hours on Fridays! Just the other day O’Donnell and the other partners took us out to Applebees after we got off work at 7:30. They picked up the whole tab! One of the guys here, Timmy… Timmy’s a big drinker. Seriously that guy is crazy and you’ve probably never met or spent your whole college career hating anyone like him… Anyway, Timmy was so drunk!!! I have no idea how he drove home. I bet his wife was ticked!! But he sure was late when he got in on Saturday morning…

Kill me.

Awesome Train podcast #044

2010-03-03T19:43:00.000-08:00

March 3rd, 2010
THIS WEEK, we get indecent proposals from belly scratchers - put up some towel curtains in the bachelor pad (for the ladies) - Steven Seagal is the biggest 'Steven' celebrity Louise knows - booze it up with a chimp and go to rehab - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #044

MUSIC FEATURED:
Spoon: 'Trouble Comes Running'
Vampire Weekend: 'Diplomat's Son'
Spoon: 'Goodnight Laura'

LINKS:
Disguised weapons
Noah's Ark sandwich
Line-up for 2010 Dancing with the Stars

VIDEO:
Wii fail

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
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00:49:20, 22.6Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #043

2010-02-24T20:31:00.000-08:00

February 24th, 2010
THIS WEEK, we mangle our digits in 2mph crashes - join class action lawsuits for the fun of it - Girl Talk gets hit on - accept marriage proposals the best way we know - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #043

MUSIC FEATURED:
Sleigh Bells: 'Crown on the Ground'
Oberhofer: 'Dead Girls Dance'
Hellogoodbye: 'When We First Met'
Dan Deacon: 'Slow with horns / Run for your life'

NEWS:
Hilary Duff: The Right Way To Accept a Marriage Proposal via the Superficial
Too smelly to fly?

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
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00:50:44, 23.3Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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James Cameron's 'Avatar'

2010-02-18T09:19:00.001-08:00

Awesome Train podcast #042

2010-02-17T20:34:00.000-08:00

February 17th, 2010
THIS WEEK, we fight off substance abuse (to nasal spray?) - we put up posters of the too fabulous men's figure skater, Johnny Weir - racist couples - Girl Talk realizes men lie (duh) - we open up the Blog Mail Bag - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #042

MUSIC FEATURED:
Big Spider's Back: 'Perfect Machine'
Timber Timbre: 'Lay Down in the Tall Grass'
Wild Nothing: 'Vultures Like Lovers'
Matt Pond PA: 'Everything Until The East Coast Ends'

NEWS:
10 Things You Need To Know About Flamboyant U.S. Skater Johnny Weir
Drunk woman demands conjugal visit with inmate
Louise and Jonathan think this girl on LOST looks like this girl on LOST.

VIDEO:
Madison Square Garden Jumbotron proposal doesn't end well

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00:50:57, 23.4Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Hey, Guy-Who-Sends-His-Girlfriend-Flowers-At-The-Office...

2010-02-13T18:35:00.000-08:00

Hey Guy-Who-Sends-His-Girlfriend-Flowers-At-The-Office. How ya been?

Listen, I've been meaning to talk to you - you're a douche.

We get it, buddy. You love your girlfriend/wife/spouse/life partner and she's REALLY important to you. So important that you feel the need to make a scene in front of all her co-workers so even THEY know how important she is to you.

Well guess what? No one gives a shit! What are we going to do with your fancy show other than think you are a sissy mo-bag. Why not take it to the next level and propose to her at our next staff meeting? Sounds about what you would do.

What you should have gotten was a Valentine's day gift for yourself - removing your balls from your stomach where they've been hiding since you started dating shnookum-pants.

I can't wait to see you again, when you are proposing to your girlfriend on the Jumbotron. Love you and your showy displays of public love!

Jonathan

Awesome Train podcast #041

2010-02-10T20:02:00.000-08:00

February 10th, 2010
THIS WEEK, the fart show! Greg is called out for his lack of fart etiquette and Jonathan admits to a odd practice - Louise wonders if 46 yr old women can get away with pigtails - scuba divers attack Google Maps - plastic surgery to look like Jessica Alba in a effort to win your boyfriend back - the Spiderman move is unveiled - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #041

MUSIC FEATURED:
Young Money: 'Bedrock'
Brazos: 'Day Glo'
Darwin Deez: 'Bad Day'
Toro Y Moi: 'Talamak'

NEWS:
John Mayer: Jessica Simpson Was "Crazy" in Bed
Angry Norwegians in scuba gear chase after Google Street View car
Jessica Alba: don't get plastic surgery to look like me to win back boyfriend
Now that's cold! NYC terrier mugged

AUDIO:
Parma State of Mind (mp3)

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Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Why not?

2010-02-10T10:12:00.001-08:00

Alaska Nanooks 2010 Hockey Intro from Szymon Weglarski on Vimeo.

Edge of Darkness

2010-02-09T20:06:00.000-08:00

Did you see the previews for this new movie with Mel Gibson? He’s some type of super-cop-detective (original) and his activist daughter gets murdered! A completely unpredictable sequence of events ensues leading him to conduct a rogue investigation!!! He uncovers all sorts of government conspiracies and cover-ups and stupid bullshit crap. Aside from the lame plot, one element to this movie irks me to no end and it is not unique to this movie, so I will address it in an open letter to Hollywood:

Dear Hollywood,

Hi.

It’s been awhile. How are you? Good? Oh good…. yeah… I’m good too… You look good…. No really… yeah… so…. yeah… This is awkward. I’ve been staying away from you lately, mainly because of your horrible stories and cheesy scripts that you try to hide with CRAZY special effects. And they are CRAZY!! Hahaha! Oh, they are crazy…

Now don’t get me wrong, this phase has led to instant classics such as Poseidon and the recent 2012. And I do appreciate the effort, but I digress…

I’m writing to address your recent fascination with old, washed-up actors playing tough guys. Yes, we all liked Taken. But I have some bad news - old men don’t beat people up. (I’m looking at you, Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones!) Old men don’t fight government agents and mercenaries!! Old men watch NCIS in recliners, complain about back pain, and run out of energy walking up the stairs. I’m sorry, Hollywood. While I’d like to believe Mel Gibson can beat up 25 year-olds with knives and guns (I actually don’t want to believe that at all…), I don’t.

In conclusion, please return to your wheelhouse of making crappy, look-what-we-can-do-with-CGI-movies directed by Michael Bay.

Sincerely,
Greg

Awesome Train podcast #040

2010-02-03T19:49:00.000-08:00

February 3rd, 2010
THIS WEEK, Greg takes over AT #40, teaching 5 year olds about safe sex - we discuss our bids for reality TV - wearing Husky jeans - Louise crawls out from under the music rock with Greg's Top Ten hits - and we introduce the newest, guestiest host to the Awesome Train crew, Katie.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #040

MUSIC FEATURED:
Beyoncé: 'Ego' (Remix) [feat. Kanye West]
Yeasayer: 'Ambling Alp'
The XX: 'VCR'

NEWS:
Dog Shoots Hunter
‘Gothic kittens’ — groomer pierces necks, ears
Snooki plays coy on nude photos
Shoulder blade

VIDEO:
Oz banker caught porn-surfing on live TV

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00:53:48, 24.8Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Go Do Something

2010-01-28T18:20:00.002-08:00

Awesome Train podcast #039

2010-01-27T21:07:00.000-08:00

January 27th, 2010
THIS WEEK, Greg shows his master debater skills in another heated Awesome Train - we thrown down on hooking up after a dryspell (slump busting to Greg) - being Sexy VS. Appealing - rock the flute on Prince's new fight song - punk a Nigerian minster - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #039

MUSIC FEATURED:
Cold War Kids: 'Audience'
Ghostface Killah: 'Do Over' ft. Raheem "Radio" DeVaughn
The Temper Trap: 'Sweet Disposition'
Friendly Fires: 'Skeleton Boy'

NEWS:
Holiday Inn Offers 'Human Bed-Warming Service' to Combat Icy Sheets
Cops stop cyclist with butcher knife-pool cue axe
Peruvian doctors amputate wrong leg, then right one

VIDEO:
Nigerian Man Gets Fresh Princed On Christian TV!
Prince's new fight song for the Minnesota Vikings

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00:50:24, 23.2Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #038

2010-01-13T20:06:00.000-08:00

January 13th, 2010
THIS WEEK, we rank our options of highway bathrooms - GIRL TALK shows off our zits to the public - a disillusioned tattoo experience - Creed Shreds! - nerds find World of Warcraft love with 42 year old women - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #038

MUSIC FEATURED:
Fyfe Dangerfield: 'When You Walk in the Room'
the Dodos: 'Fables'
Noah And The Whale: 'Stranger'
Vampire Weekend: 'California English Pt. 2'

STORIES:
Teen found after meeting his 42-year-old online 'soulmate'
'Cougars,' 'cubs' unwelcome on Carnival cruises

VIDEO:
Creed Shreds

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Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #037

2010-01-06T20:50:00.000-08:00

January 6th, 2010
AND WE'RE BACK! To start 2010 we find the humor in fighting off squatters at the hospital during the holidays - determine if a creepy kid in Back to the Future 3 is pointing at his junk - listen to the Halloween theme song during a wedding dinner - and avoid hooking Greg up with a plumpy nurse - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #037

MUSIC FEATURED:
Sleigh Bells: 'Ring Ring'
We Were Promised Jetpacks: 'It's Thunder and It's Lightening'
The Rocketboys: 'Sights and Sounds'
Sea of Bees: 'Willis'

STORIES:
Vengeful brother posts sisters '2010 Hook Up List' on Facebook and reveals all
Frazzled Roxbury mom calls the cops on teen gamer
Police: Ohio Woman Hit Window Over Lack of Nuggets

VIDEO:
Creepy Kid from Back To The Future 3 points to his flux capacitor

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00:57:13, 26.3Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #036

2009-12-16T20:07:00.000-08:00

December 16th, 2009
THIS WEEK, we play the Tiger game: how many people can your spouse cheat on you with for you to stick around - Greg is in a sorry state after facing a boner song competition (HIS BROTHER!?) - Greg does his best Dr Phil for a new segment called 'Couples Therapy' - and more Christmas tunes.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #036

MUSIC FEATURED:
Fall Out Boy: 'Yule Shoot Your Eye Out'
Vampire Weekend: 'Cousins'
Beach House: 'Norway'
Jazon Mraz: 'Winter Wonderland'

STORIES:
Tiger Woods wife prepares for divorce

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00:44:47, 20.6Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #035

2009-12-09T19:25:00.000-08:00

December 8th, 2009
THIS WEEK, we open our high school diaries of emotions and cheating on girlfriends - Louise turns the hate meter to 10 on Tiger Woods affair - a man dresses in drag to get his Mom's money out of the bank - and more news and Christmas tunes.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #035

MUSIC FEATURED:
The Wombats: 'Is This Christmas'
New Roman Times: 'Smoke In Your Disguise'
Bon Iver & St. Vincent: 'Rosyln'
Zee Avi: 'No Christmas For Me'

STORIES:
Tiger Woods alienates black community with white lovers
Tiger Woods offers wife Elin Nordegren $80M to stay for seven years in revised prenup
Man dresses up as mom to withdraw cash
'Elf' jailed over dynamite hoax on Ga. mall Santa

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Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #034

2009-12-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

December 1st, 2009
THIS WEEK, we practice the high art of compliments while insulting - we crash a White House state dinner with Tiger Woods' Escalade - Greg takes offense to boner song "criticism" - tell spelunkers they are dumber than people who drink and drive - and more news and (Christmas!) indie music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #034

MUSIC FEATURED:
Rosie Thomas: 'Why Can't It Be Christmastime All Year'
Windmill: 'Big Boom'
Tim Williams: 'I Hit Another Wall'
Sufjan Stevens: 'Hey Guys! It's Christmas Time!'

STORIES:
Tiger Woods needs a Kobe Special
White House crashers
Man chooses to save wife over son
Dad puts kids in trunk for errand
Man rams car into hot dog stand

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00:52:17, 24Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #033

2009-11-24T21:01:00.000-08:00

November 24th, 2009
THIS WEEK, we have high drama in the group over leftovers (someone storms out of the studio!) - Jonathan admits to some embarrassing things (wearing unisex Disney shirts to start) - we avoid any Santa who looks a little too excited this holiday season - participate in "Kick a Ginger Day" - we sell human meat to the kebab store - and more news and indie music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #033

MUSIC FEATURED:
Old Canes: 'Little Bird Courage'
Dr Dog: 'Heart It Races' (Architecture in Helsinki cover)
Jamie T: 'The Man's Machine'
Sun Airway: 'Oh Naoko'

STORIES:
Santa Actor Imprisoned for Sex Tourism
Police Use Taser on 10-Year-Old Girl
Facebook Blamed for Benefits Loss
Facebook Page Targets Redheads
UK man cleared of wife's death during nightmare

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00:47:56, 22Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #032

2009-11-10T19:51:00.000-08:00

November 10th, 2009
THIS WEEK, we work without a net, flying without the usual celebrity stories - we unearth a letter Greg penned to Louise in high school - Luke, our 5 year old, tries to rhyme words with "muck" - and we debate how far to go to have kids, including getting your testicles opened like a book. Fun!

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MUSIC FEATURED:
Young Galaxy: 'Destroyer'
the XX: 'Islands'
Mumm-Ra: 'She's Got You High'
The Coast: 'Nueva York'

STORIES:
People of WalMart
Tool Academy

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Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #031

2009-11-03T20:44:00.000-08:00

November 3rd, 2009
THIS WEEK, Louise gets Greg and Jonathan to sing the news - we tune out our parents having sex in the next room - make fun of a 9 year olds Halloween costume - George Brett shares about making it in his pants - and more news and music.

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MUSIC FEATURED:
Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros: 'Home'
Lykee Li: 'Tonight Your Mine' (the Shirelles cover)
Local Natives: 'Cubism Dream', 'Wide Eyes' and 'Stranger Things'
The Flaming Lips: 'Silver Trembling Hands'

NEWS:
Phillies fan busted offering sex for World Series tickets
Miley Cyrus's younger sister gets criticism for revealing Halloween costume
Gerard Butler + Lindsay Lohan make out

AUDIO/VIDEO:
George Brett tells of shitting himself (at length)
Woman calls 911 on herself for drunk driving

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Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #030

2009-10-28T18:00:00.000-07:00

October 28th, 2009
THIS WEEK, Greg conducts the train!! We get a little (or a lot) distorted as we explore Steve Phillips' hot and steamy affair with trolls - sing more boner songs - Greg plays some awesome indie music - punch out zombies - and Jesus turns poop into pancakes.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #030

MUSIC FEATURED:
Miley Cyrus: 'Party in the USA'
Miley Cyrus: 'Party in the USA'
Miley Cyrus: 'Party in the USA'
Miley Cyrus: 'Party in the USA'

CELEB STORIES:
Steve Phillips gets fired from ESPN
Steve Phillips' hot mistress photos

NEWS STORIES:
Chewbacca needs amputee to be C3PO via Geekologie
Airliner loses contact, overflies destination
One-legged suspect caught with one stolen shoe
Man ordering food is called a zombie, punched twice
Man throws feces in CA courtroom
Ban on tight trousers for women?

VIDEO:
Girl can only walk backwards after flu shot

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00:57:19, 26.3Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #029

2009-10-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

October 20th, 2009
THIS WEEK, we fly off in a Jiffy Pop balloon in a attempt to get a reality show - Louise dances half naked - Greg gets uncomfortable listening to Mom and Dad talk about sex - we find the cure to blue balls in Yahoo! Answers - and more news and music.

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MUSIC FEATURED:
Zorch: 'Zut Alore!'
As Tall As Lions: 'In Case of Rapture'
Dan Black: 'U+ME='
Dananananaykroyd: 'Infinity Milk'

CELEB NEWS:
Beyonce delays Malaysia show amid Muslim criticism
Actor Nicolas Cage sues business manager for $20M
Fed-up judge warns Lindsay Lohan to honor DUI probation rules or face jail

NEWS STORIES:
Balloon boy
Balloon boy vomits

VIDEO:
Highly Questionable Japanese Sniper Game Show via Geekologie

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Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #028

2009-10-13T20:51:00.001-07:00

October 13th, 2009
THIS WEEK, Greg shares a song he wrote about boners - we dodge a drunk at a wedding - Louise looks for the guy perspective in Girl Talk - we bury the Gosselin's - Tool Academy recaps - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #028

MUSIC FEATURED:
Gotye: 'Learnalilgivinanlovin'
Local Natives: 'World News'
HoneyHoney: '1979 (Smashing Pumpkins cover)'
Yo La Tengo: 'Here To Fall'

CELEB NEWS:
NO MORE GOSSELIN COVERAGE...AFTER THIS!
Jon Gosselin bought his daughter an ATV for her birthday. Seriously. via the Superficial
Miley Cyrus Sends Her Last Tweet

NEWS STORIES:
Once in a black and blue moon...
Gruesome tale of Ted Williams' botched decapitation

VIDEO:
Dan gets booted off of Tool Academy 2

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Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #027

2009-10-06T20:42:00.000-07:00

October 6th, 2009
THIS WEEK, we munch on some 5-star cow glands - Louise drops some Girl Talk on us - try to find something nice to say about David Letterman's wife - we let the kids sit in a cardboard box on top of the minivan as we drive down the highway - and more news and music.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #027

MUSIC FEATURED:
The Burning Hotels: 'Austin's Birthday'
Vampire Weekend: 'Horchata'
The Hot Press: 'LNY'
The Big Pink: 'Dominos'

CELEB NEWS:
Linday Lohan panned as fashion designer
Lindsay Lohan on stripper pole for 6126 leggings
David Letterman admits to affairs/apologizes to wife
Kate Gosselin: Jon has 'gone way far off the trail'

NEWS STORIES:
Ala. woman lets daughter ride in box on top of van
Vampires vow till death do us part at Ohio wedding

VIDEO:
Steven Seagal: Lawman

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00:51:28, 23Mb

Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #026

2009-10-01T21:11:00.000-07:00

October 1st, 2009
THIS WEEK, in a series of Awesome Train firsts(!), Greg bails on the show and becomes the first call in guest (twice!) - we get in fights with 4 year olds hogging the parkway - site a Sasquatch at bogus a Kardashian wedding - and Louise stabs me in the arm because she's "not in the mood."

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MUSIC FEATURED:
Little Dragon: 'Blinking Pigs'
Miike Snow: 'Silvia'
The Cribs: 'Our Bovine Public (Napoleon IIIrd Remix)'
La Roux: 'Bulletproof'

CELEB NEWS:
Kate Gosselin & TLC want to keep milking the kids the Superficial
Khloe Kardashian's wedding scripted to the last detail the Superficial
Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have split

NEWS STORIES:
In 2 bomb cases, FBI let sting operation play out
The Gay Games will be held in Cleveland in 2014
Cops: Skater faces charges in right-of-way dispute
Police: Woman, not in the mood, cuts boyfriend

VIDEO:
Disgusting Human Centipede movie I Watch Stuff

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Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #025

2009-09-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

September 22nd, 2009
THIS WEEK we sneak chocolates from co-workers - toss a few back with 'the Hoff' - examine the sexually heavy lyrics of Bell Biv Devoe - refute the use of the word 'bonfire' - argue about field trips for serial killers - and news and other stuff.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #025

SONGS PLAYED:
Kings Of Leon Vs. Lykke Li: 'Knocked Up (Rodeo Mash Up)'
Kid CuDi: 'Pursuit of Happiness (Ft. MGMT & Ratatat)'
Akron/Family: 'Sun Will Shine (Warmth Of The Sunship Version)'
Deastro: 'Parallelogram'

CELEB NEWS:
Lindsay Lohan tries to get close to 'True Blood' star at Fashion Week via Gatecrasher
Lindsay Lohan may have a connection to burglary suspect Nicholas Prugo
David Hasselhoff hospitalized for alcohol poisoning after vodka bender

NEWS STORIES:
Jedi kicked out of store for not removing hood
Schizophrenic killer escapes during field trip
Men into eyebrow grooming
Montauk Monster

VIDEO:
Keep Fucking That Chicken

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Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #024

2009-09-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

September 15th, 2009

THIS WEEK we scrutinize Kanye's VMA tantrum - build sweet ramps and weapons with 10 year old bike gangs - ponder the behavior of the Fat Bad Dad, Jon Gosselin - hang up our Tool Academy bedazzled blazers - get into odd news and other stuff.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #024

SONGS PLAYED:
The Voom Blooms: 'Politics & Cigarettes'
Mute Math: 'Backfire'
The Rumble Strips: 'Not the Only Person'
Glasvegas: 'It's My Own Cheating Heart'

LINKS TO CELEBS:
Kanye coverage at the VMAs via Videogum
Lady GaGa is the Phantom of the Opera crow, snow owl, wallpaper lingerie Statue of Liberty, etc.
The dingo ate Jessica Simpson's doggie
Kate Gosselin's new hair (finally) via the Superficial

LINKS TO NEWS:
Like, uhm...Ellis Lankster video
Study finds men look at breasts first
Why parents shouldn't Facebook via Geekologie
Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov via Geekologie

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Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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Awesome Train podcast #023

2009-09-08T20:51:00.000-07:00

September 8th, 2009

THIS WEEK we contemplate joining a band of garbage pickers - try to Buy It Now on the last jar of Unicorn Semen - compile our reasons for why Speidi sucks - watch Kevin Federline challenge a Orca whale - and kick our feces at cops for busting our sweet 64 year old party.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #023

SONGS PLAYED:
The Dead Weather: 'Treat Me Like Your Mother'
We Fell to Earth: 'The Double'
Jay-Z: 'Hate (feat. Kanye West)'
Lisa Mitchell: 'Valium'
Her Space Holiday: 'Same Song Sing Along'

LINKS TO CELEBS:
Fatty Federline
Perez's Pledge to Tyra
Melted Lohan side boob the Superficial

LINKS TO NEWS:
Unicorn Semen auction
Guy crawls into outhouse... again... on purpose
63 year old kicks feces at cops for busting party
Man robs bank to get away from over bearing wife
Guess What's In The Picture?

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Jonathan, Greg & Louise
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We are now on Podcast Alley

2009-09-06T21:52:00.000-07:00

The Awesome Train podcast alley feed. Lots of PG activities happening in this alley. No, really, don't call the cops.

Awesome Train podcast #022

2009-08-31T20:58:00.000-07:00

August 31th, 2009

THIS WEEK we discuss the kidnapping of (questionably) gay dog Hudson Hayward Hemingway - cover DJ AM's last spin - avoid the dangers of Jessica Biel search engines - reply to invites to the "cave between the legs" - and head to a pool party with our buddy J Gosselin.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #022

SONGS PLAYED:
Kissy Sell Out: 'Through the Leaves'
Dan Black: 'Symphonies'
I Was A Cub Scout: 'Echoes'
Valery Gore: 'Shoes of Glass'

LINKS TO CELEBS:
DJ AM R.I.P.
Joe Francis fights like a girl the Superficial
Jessica Biel Most Dangerous Online Celebrity
Jon Gosselin Vegas Pool Party the Superficial
Topless Regis Philbin

LINKS TO NEWS:
Dog with earrings stolen from gay bar
Facebook screwup via Geekologie

LINKS TO MEDIA:
Poop Trap
Winkers Jeans

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01:17:29, 35.5Mb

Jonathan & Greg
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Awesome Train podcast #021

2009-08-19T20:59:00.000-07:00

August 19th, 2009

THIS WEEK, special guest comedian Ryan Dalton joins us as we debate over the better option, Kim Kardashian VS Paris Hilton - cuddle into a 3 hour 'Dog the Bounty Hunter' marathon - play "Does that Make me Racist?" - of course we get updates on Jon & Kate - get pregnant before our reality show starts and more news and tomfoolery.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #021

SONGS PLAYED:
The Very Best: 'Warm Heart of Africa'
Washed Out: 'Feel It All Around'
Delorean: 'Big Dipper' and 'Deli'
Neon Indian: '6669 (I don't know if you know)'
Golden Silvers: 'Arrows of Eros (The Shoes Remix)'

LINKS TO CELEBS:
Kourtney Kardashian pregnant the Superficial
Jon locks Kate out of house
Robin Wright Penn files for divorce
Victoria Beckham takes facial expression lessons for American Idol

LINKS TO NEWS:
Dumb proposal
Hispanic families fooled by self-proclaimed "money cleanser"

LINKS TO MEDIA:
Student walks through automatic door

And be sure to check out Ryan Dalton at every media portal known to man.
MySpace
Facebook
Twitter
You can buy his album, You Were Funny Too, at the iTunes Store as well so please support the guy.

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Jonathan & Greg
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Awesome Train podcast #020

2009-08-12T19:12:00.000-07:00

August 5th, 2009

THIS WEEK, hop on board as Greg plays conductor. We learn that Kelly Clarkson is fat - Jonathan reveals his love of Tevin Campbell - Kate Gosselin is a bitch with bad hair - Greg masters the art of segue - Flo Rida, Slo Rida, Paula Abdul, celebrity nudie “scandals,” bands that make your balls shrivel, car crashes, blonde Kardashians, cats downloading pornography... Its insanity and its all right here aboard the Awesome Train!!!

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #020

SONGS PLAYED:
311: 'Hey You'
Owl City: 'Vanilla Twilight'
Lupe Fiasco: 'Shining Down (featuring Matthew Santos)'
Conor Oberst: 'NYC – Gone, Gone'
Say Hi: 'Maurine'

LINKS TO CELEBS:
Kelly Clarkson is fat
Kelly Clarkson doesn’t care that she’s fat the Superficial
Lindsay Lohan’s Elle photo shoot Lainey Gossip
Kate Gosselin is a diva bitch
Ashley Greene falls "victim" to nude photo "scandal"
Pole Dancing Miley
Paula Abdul made American Idol #1 theSuperficial
Kim Kardashian goes "blonde"

LINKS TO NEWS:
Cabbie crashes into church
Plane crashes into wedding reception
Man smuggles a gun in his fat folds
Cat downloads child pornography
Facebook leads to firings

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01:19:25, 36.6Mb

Jonathan & Greg
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Awesome Train podcast #019

2009-08-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

August 5th, 2009

THIS WEEK Greg defends a guy who has sex with horses - we talk about touching poop on your birthday - check out some questionable band submitted spam on the blog - get our jon Gosselin and LiLo updates - and check out some awesome Shark VS Octopus footage.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #019

SONGS PLAYED:
Passion Pit: 'Moth's Wings'
Friendly Fires: 'Strobe'
IAMX: 'Terrified'
Major Lazer: 'Keep it goin' louder feat. Nina Sky & Ricky Blaze'
Lacrosse: 'Excuses, Excuses'

LINKS TO CELEBS:
Heigl is the devil Celebslam
Ryan Reynolds bails on ComicCon Lainey Gossip
Jon Gosselin: 'I'm single' the Superifical
Adrian Grenier has a smelly penis the Superifical
Lindsay Lohan's melted grilled cheese side boob the Superifical

LINKS TO NEWS:
S.C. man on probation for horse sex has sex with same horse again
Man with fetish charged with stealing eyeglasses

LINKS TO MULTIMEDIA:
New Jay-Z (Feat. Rihanna & Kanye West) "Run This Town"
Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus
Tiger Woods questionable on-camera fart
When You Refer To Someone as Yellow...

And for those of you wanting your own copy of "Beer and a Dick", here is a link to The Zenith Farm

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Jonathan & Greg
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Awesome Train podcast #018

2009-07-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

July 23rd, 2009

THIS WEEK the Awesome Train welcomes new baby girl Penelope, bringing up the caboose - we cover tons of gossip from Paula Abdul whining about her AI paycheck - Chris Brown apologizes to America for the beatdown - we get our Jon and Kate update - a taser attack that lead to spontaneous combustion - and Jonathan confesses to attacking a senior citizen for no good reason.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #018

SONGS PLAYED:
Foreign Born: 'Vacationing People'
Fun.: 'At Least I'm Not As Sad (As I Used To Be)'
Faunts: 'Feel.Love.Thinking.Of.'
Discovery: 'So Insane'

LINKS TO CELEBS:
Hayden Panettiere Is Tired Of Being Famous
Paula Abdul Demands $20 Million From American Idol
Jude Law assaults female pap
A Message From Chris Brown
Kate Major resigns from Star over Jon Gosselin, Hailey Glassman still loves him
Gwyneth Paltrow is angry

LINKS TO NEWS:
Chinese Worker Kills Self Over Missing iPhone
Tasered 'Petrol-Sniffer' Bursts Into Flames
Would You Wear Cheetos Lip Balm?
Police arrest naked 'Terminator'

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Jonathan & Greg
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Awesome Train podcast #017

2009-07-14T18:01:00.000-07:00

July 14th, 2009

THIS WEEK the Awesome Train is on baby watch, with Louise's water bound to break at any point during the podcast! (RATINGS GRABBER) While we wait for the dam to burst, we talk some Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo split - Jon Gosselin losing major points for being a deadbeat dad and overall dbag - find out what brothels in town you can ride your bike to for a deep discount - and other gossip and news.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #017

SONGS PLAYED:
MSTRKRFT: 'Heartbreaker'
Discovery: 'Can You Discover?'
Phoenix: '1901'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo Split (from People.com)
'Jon Gosselin: Children's clothing designer (from Ithe Superficial)
'Trent Reznor Teaches Younger Bands How To Be Successful (from Stereogum)
'MacGruber' Movie is Happening (from I Watch Stuff)
"You Can Be in 'Transformers' After I Record You Washing My Awesome Car" - Michael Bay (from I Watch Stuff)
'Want to make 80K a year? Try casting a spell'
Berlin brothel offers discounts for cyclists
Va. nudist camp to help stage largest skinny dip

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01:00:46, 27.9Mb

Jonathan & Greg
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Awesome Train podcast #016

2009-07-07T21:49:00.000-07:00

July 8th, 2009

THIS WEEK the Awesome Train is back on the tracks kids! Come pay your tribute to Jacko with us - ponder if Chris Brown has a death wish in the rap community - more crummy 80's toys being turned into crummy new movies - get answers to how creepy you might be for looking at Star Wars toys at 1AM - and check out odd news stories.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #016

SONGS PLAYED:
Major Lazer: 'Mary Jane' feat. Mr Evil & Mapei
Discovery: 'I Want You Back'
Think About Life: 'Sweet Sixteen'
Marmaduke Duke: 'Rubber Lover'
Best Coast: 'Sun Was High (So Was I)'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
Kellie Pickler secretly dating Kid Rock for over a year (from the Superficial)
'Asteroids': That's a Movie Now (from I Watch Stuff)
'View-Master' Movie Now Most Ridiculous '80s Toy Movie (from I Watch Stuff)
Worst Rap Battle Ever
Man says bear mugged him for his Italian sandwich
New Swiss firefighting tool: TV remote control
Woman allegedly pranks her grandma 45 times in day

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Jonathan & Greg
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Awesome Train podcast #015

2009-06-24T20:54:00.000-07:00

June 24th, 2009

THIS WEEK the Awesome Train sees what it would look like to get 56 stars tattoo'd on your face - Greg tackles some more of Yahoo's! Answers - we debate Chris Brown's (lack of) punishment for beating Rihanna - and Greg takes it there when he decides he wants to talk pee boners and shower urination. Oh yeah, he went there.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #015

SONGS PLAYED:
Major Lazer: 'Mary jane feat. Mr Evil & Mapei'
Discovery: 'I Want You Back'
Think About Life: 'Sweet Sixteen'
Marmaduke Duke: 'Rubber Lover'
Best Coast: 'Sun Was High (So Was I)'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
56 Star Faced Girl A Dirty Liar (from Geekologie)
Yahoo! Answers
Chris Brown ducks jail time in plea deal (from the Superficial)
Donte Stallworth jail time
Jon & Kate file divorce papers (from the Superficial)
The Kush infomercial (from Geekologie)
Jive-talking twin Transformers raise race issues

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Jonathan & Greg
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Awesome Train podcast #014

2009-06-16T21:15:00.001-07:00

June 16th, 2009

THIS WEEK the Awesome Train gets angry. For whatever reason the show spirals into talking about angry sh*ts, angry youths fighting for no reason and the McCoy/Hatfield fued. On top of that fun stuff we talk about Meghan Fox's busted thumbs - naked men tied to rocks to watch buzzards - stoned dogs - and wiping your butt with a fancy stick - and other news and topics.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #014

SONGS PLAYED:
Kilians: 'Used to Pretend'
LoveLikeFire: 'William'
Hey Champ: 'Cold Dust Girl'
Yeasayer: 'Tightrope'
The Coast: 'Tightrope'
Dananananaykroyd: 'Pink Sabbath'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
Brace yourselves, Megan Fox has an imperfection: the actress is all thumbs
Dog doesn't just say no and gets 'stoned' at park
Nevada students find naked man tied to a rock
Comfort Wipe Commercial
Hatfield-McCoy feud

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Jonathan & Greg
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Awesome Train podcast #013

2009-06-09T21:10:00.000-07:00

June 9th, 2009

THIS WEEK the Awesome Train hosts bracket their Top 16 starlets of music, TV and film, working their way up to Miss Awesome Lady 2009; special guest Louise (Jonathan's wife) sits in for the female perspective - we talk Bret Michaels getting pwned by a Broadway set piece - NinjaNerd lurking in the woods with his mad, two-finger skills - Speidi suffering through "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" - and just what a guy is to do when his serious girlfriend of 2.5 years refuses to "make him grilled cheese sandwiches" - and other news and topics.

GET YOUR AWESOME LADY BRACKET 2009 HERE TO PLAY ALONG.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #013

SONGS PLAYED:
Matt & Kim: 'Daylight (Yukon Ho remix)'
Bombay Bicycle Club: 'Always Like This'
Benjy Ferree: 'Fear'
Fink: 'Sort of Revolution'
St. Vincent: 'the Strangers'
the Burning Hotels: 'Lovely Lovely Lady'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
Video: Nearly Beheaded Bret Michaels Is Not Long For The Theater
Report: Heidi and Spencer Pratt 'torture' allegations are false
Allergic to "grilled cheese"
NinjaNerd
Ms Taken (from Geekologie)

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Jonathan & Greg
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Awesome Train podcast #012

2009-06-04T22:09:00.000-07:00

June 2nd, 2009

Show #12, and we are working on wires with questionable hosting! HURRAH!

THIS WEEK is all about pop culture - Jon & Kate plus 8 - Ashlee Simpson talking smack to Michelle Trachtenburg - MTV Movie Awards - Greg answers some of Yahoo! Answers most perplexing questions - and other news and topics.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #012

SONGS PLAYED:
the Amsterdams: 'Suffering & Surfing'
Passion Pit: 'the Reeling'
IAMX: 'Kingdom of Welcome Addiction'
Pet Lions: 'Roman History'
Papercuts: 'Future Primitive'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
Kate Gosselin in a bathing suit
Emino and Bruno at MTV Movie Awards
Megan Fox Twitters about her hair at Movie Awards
Heidi & Spencer bitch out of reality show
Katherine Heigl gets dumped
New "Kids" MGMT video
Ashlee Simpson starts shit with Michelle Trachtenberg

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
File size: 26Mb

Jonathan & Greg
***Please leave comments.

THE AWESOME TRAIN IS WITHOUT A STATION

2009-05-27T12:06:00.001-07:00

Our hosting service folded into another, larger corporation this week, leaving us without a place to share the funny and music with you. We are looking into other options and hope to have this solved momentarily.

Please stay tuned.

Awesome Train podcast #011

2009-05-20T18:48:00.000-07:00

May 19th, 2009

Show #11, and we are back from a long break.

THIS WEEK is music with some awesome superhero stories - one guy makes his own Wolverine claws - another dork in disguise walks the streets with his crime fighting crew - a guy pops in a fake Terminator eye for fun - we wander into some 'Viva La Vida' controversy; and other news and topics.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #011

SONGS PLAYED:
Port O'Brien: 'I Woke Up Today'
Mock Orange: 'My Girls'
City and Colour: 'The Girl
Peter Bjorn and John: 'Nothing to Worry About'
Amazing Baby: 'Pump Your Brakes'
the Dears: 'Ballad of Humankindness'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
Man Wants Camera Installed In Prosthetic Eye, Temporarily Settles For Terminator Eye
Guy makes REAL Wolverine claws
Fail: How Not To Get Your Wife Pregnant
Coldplay VS Creaky Boards
Coldplay VS Joe Satriani
Coldplay VS Cat Stevens
Introducing Cincinnati’s Real Life Masked Superhero, The Shadow Hare

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
File size: 29Mb

Jonathan & Greg
***Please leave comments.

Alternate link: Switchpod

Awesome Train podcast #010 The First Greg Takes Over Show

2009-04-22T11:50:00.001-07:00

April 20th, 2009

GREG TAKES OVER!

THIS WEEK, Greg takes over in his first attempt at running a show. New segments and fun abound!!! A new intro? A new sidekick seating arrangement? A marketing campaign for the show? Movie reviews! Music reviews! Its all here at the Awesome Train! Its all awesome! Now boarding…

What do 30 year old single men do when they live alone? What does Greg hate this week? Stories about LiLo, Speidi, and old brothers knife-fighting. Fun times in Cleveland today!!! Cleveland! Come on down to Cleveland-town everyone!

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #010

SONGS PLAYED:
Passion Pit: ‘Sleepyhead’
Death Cab for Cutie: 'My Mirror Speaks'
Yelle: 'Ce jeu'
The Parlor Mob: 'Everything You're Breathing For'
MGMT: ‘Electric Feel (Justice Remix)’
M83: ‘Up!’

LINKS TO TOPICS:
LiLo eHarmony Ad
Heidi Montag is the American Idol
Pork and Beans Stabbing
Fun Times in Cleveland Today!

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
File size: 31Mb
Length: 01:07:37

Jonathan & Greg
***Please leave comments.

Alternate link: Switchpod

In case you forgot...

2009-04-18T19:09:00.001-07:00

Greg Takes Over Podcast #010 of the Awesome Train - CLICK ME TO LISTEN!

Awesome Train podcast #009 The 'This Podcast Was Recorded Using a Trial Version of Wire Tap Studio' Show

2009-04-15T12:56:00.000-07:00

April 13th, 2009

Show #9, and the quality doesn't stop for the Awesome Train.

THIS WEEK, while experiencing some technical difficulties with our usual program (WireTap Pro) we decided to try out WireTap Studio. Well if you read the small type, it turns out that this trial version has a female voice over after a certain amount of time - THEREFORE - the last 3/4ths of our podcast is basically unlistenable due to the dang voice over. ENJOY!

Stories about knife fights due to farting; reality TV shows about company layoffs; TV pitch man Jack Rebney PWNS the F-bomb in Winnebago spots from the 80s; and Billy Bob Thornton comes across as a real dick in a music interview; and other news and topics.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #010

Don't forget, GREG TAKES OVER FOR THE AWESOME TRAIN PODCAST #10 NEXT WEEK!

SONGS PLAYED:
Wreckx-n-Effect: 'Rump Shaker'
Animal Collective: 'My Girls'
Benjamin E. Morsberger: 'Don't Forget to Regret'
Bats for Lashes: 'Airplanes'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
Jack Rebney is Winnebago Man
Billy Bob Thornton is a dick
Man causing real stink in motel room gets stabbed
Fox to make reality TV show out of company layoffs

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
File size: 27Mb

Jonathan & Greg
***Please leave comments.

Alternate link: Switchpod

Awesome Train podcast #008

2009-04-07T05:42:00.000-07:00

April 6th, 2009

Show #8, back to lonely Greg and Jonathan in the basement.

This week is more music with a lot of stories relating to violence - samurai swords creating bloody stump fighting in bars - 911 calls for your wife biting you because she wants to talk - the ShamWow guy getting his tongue bit by a prostitute;updates on our 12 year old friend Alfie Patten who could be a father;and a update on Lindsay Lohan's downward spiral; and other news and topics.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #008

Don't forget, GREG TAKES OVER FOR THE AWESOME TRAIN PODCAST #10! Stick around for the teaser at the end.

SONGS PLAYED:
Jonathan Boulet: 'A Community Service Annoucement'
Thomas Tantrum: 'Why The English Are Rubbish'
MIMS: 'Move (If You Wanna)'
Local Natives: 'Airplanes'
Hot Chip & Peter Gabriel: 'Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
Sword attacker sliced off victim's left hand
Alfie Patten, You Are....Not The Father!
Frantic 911 Call: 'My Wife Has Handcuffed Me!'
Woman to 911: Help! I'm locked inside my car'
ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust
Lindsay Lohan's latest film goes straight to TV
'Healthy' man, 25, collapses and dies playing Wii Fit game

VIDEOS
MGMT's video for 'Electric Feel'
MIMS video for 'Move If You Wanna'

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
File size: 31Mb

Jonathan & Greg
***Please leave comments.

Alternate link: Switchpod

Awesome Train podcast #007 The Pat's First Sound Effects Show

2009-03-28T11:17:00.000-07:00

March 25th, 2009

Show #7 and we decided to try something new. Greg's brother, Pat, brought his Macbook and Garageband sound effects to the podcast. Good ide, but poor execution on the part of us who don't have a audio engineer background to show between the three of us. So please mind the feedback, echo, distortion, etc. Next week we will be back to normal.

This week is more indie music with talk about penis paintings on rooftops; getting booted off a school bus for passing gas; KidzBop covering P!NK and PSA's that maybe go too far; and other news and topics.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #007

Don't forget, GREG TAKES OVER FOR THE AWESOME TRAIN PODCAST #10!

SONGS PLAYED:
Bombay Bicycle Club: 'How Are We'
Cut Off Your Hands: 'Heartbreak'
Grizzly Bear: 'Two Weeks'
Golden Holy: 'Sleeping Thieves'
Chairlift: 'Bruises'
Passion Pit: 'Sleepyhead'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
Student kicked off bus for passing gas
Lindsay Lohan Fornarina commercial
Lindsay Lohan's running fast on Samantha Ronson's cash
Is Chad Michael Murray Being Forced Out of One Tree Hill?'
60-foot penis painted on roof
Police notes from Rihanna/Chris Brown fight used to make new PSA
Thai fireman in 'spider-man' rescue of autistic boy
KidzBop cover P!NK's 'So What!?'from Videogum
Definition of Awesome Train:A successful group of people or organization.

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
File size: 31Mb

Jonathan & Greg
***Please leave comments.

Alternate link: Switchpod

Awesome Train podcast #006 The 17 Year Olds in the Basement Show

2009-03-22T20:25:00.000-07:00

March 21st, 2009

Show #6 and WE'RE BACK!

Indie music with talk about weird names (Taco Vandervelde, anyone?); College majors defining whether you will be a virgin by graduation; too sexy cartoon characters and power tools gone wrong in the bedroom; and other news and topics. OH! and special guest this week, my wife Louise and 4 year old son, Luke! As Greg said, our high tech studio was hacked to comedic error.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #006

Tune in next episode where Pat, Greg's brother, joins us for a show a before he moves out of the state. And mark your calendars down, GREG TAKES OVER FOR THE AWESOME TRAIN PODCAST #10!

SONGS PLAYED:
Red Light Company: 'Meccano'
Glasvegas: 'Please Come Back Home
The Uglysuit: 'Daniel Peace'
Telekinesis: 'Coast Carolina'
Golden Holy: 'Sleepy Thieves'
The National: 'All the Wine'
The Owls: 'Air'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
Name of the Year contest
Gay Rights Games possibly coming to Cleveland 2014...?
Your major in college defines if you will get laid
Outrage over new, sexy Dora the Explorer
USB drive replaces finger'
Woman injured in power sex tool encounter
Project Runway contestant arrested for throwing cat
Man uses deer antlers to attack girlfriend
Brooke Hogan's new stage show

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
File size: 33.6Mb

Jonathan & Greg
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Alternate link: Switchpod

Awesome Train podcast #005 The No Voices Show

2009-03-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

March 12th, 2009

Show #5 and Jonathan screwed up BIG TIME. In the interest of full disclosure, I didn't change the settings the last time I used Wire Tap Pro and therefore none of our audio commentary was recorded, just the music.

So into be completely thorough and true to the audience, here is that show. If you dare to listen, you will have songs with lots of fading over them and then lots of dead air. Awesome, just like the Awesome Train.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #005

SONGS PLAYED:
Kid Britsh: 'Elizabeth'
K'naan: 'People Like Me' and 'T.I.A.'
Snow Patrol: 'If There's a Rocket Tie Me To It'
Owl City: 'Fuzzy Blue Lights'
Anathallo: 'Hanasakajijii (Four: A Great Wind, More Ash)'
Pictures of You - NME Cure Tribute CD (link to a blogpost and a few songs)
MGMT: 'Kids'
The Owls: 'Air'

Awesome Train podcast #004

2009-03-04T21:36:00.000-08:00

March 5th, 2009

Show #4 and we are starting to roll.

Indie music with talk about nude teachers in Wendy's drive-thru; office chairs exploding in your b-hole; people calling 911 to complain about fast food service; and questionable behavior at my local Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins; and other news and topics.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #004

SONGS PLAYED:
Florence and The Machine: 'Dog Days Are Over'
Flight of the Conchords: 'Sugar Lumps'
Snow Patrol: 'If There's a Rocket Tie Me To It'
Maia Hirasawa: 'Crackers'
Her Space Holiday: 'Sleepy Tigers'
Vampire Weekend: 'Ottoman'

LINKS TO TOPICS:
Nasty pizza burger
Office chair explodes into boy's b-hole and kills him
Teacher On Paid Leave After Charged In Flashing Incident
Man calls 911 after Burger King runs out of lemonade
McDonald's apologizes days after Florida woman Latreasa Goodman called 911 over McNugget 'emergency'
Katherine Heigl: From Hollywood sweetheart to killer diva?
Successfully Marketing Your Bike On eBay
Brazilian Man Holds Woman Hostage For 10 Hours... With A Sega Light Gun'

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
File size: 25.4Mb

Jonathan & Greg
***Please leave comments.

Alternate link: Switchpod

Awesome Train podcast #003 aka the Nutline

2009-02-18T21:00:00.000-08:00

February 18th, 2009

Show #3 where we have better audio! No more reverb from the speakers, just sweet, clear 64Mhz audio into your earrrrrz.

Indie music with talk about a 13 year old father; Greg goes to a bachelor auction; a chimpanzee ripping off the face of a 50 year old woman; the appropriate age to for a man to leave cotton boxers behind; and other news topics. OH! And don't forget our FIRST POLL over in the right column.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #003

Songs played:
Dent May: 'Oh Paris!'
Lonely Island: 'Dreamgirl' ft Norah Jones
Ben Folds: 'Cologne'
The Boxer Rebellion: 'Evacuate'
Justin Vernon: 'Hazelton'

Links to topics:
Alfie Patten, the 13-year-old British daddy, taking DNA test to prove he's the father
A woman's massive meltdown over missed flight becomes a YouTube hit
Criznittle, author of Indie Rock Playlists, R.I.P. (until probation is over)
Man who lost leg while drunk on subway track wins a $2.3M verdict
911 tape captures chimpanzee owner's horror as 200-pound ape mauls friend

EXPLICIT (for language/content)
Exported at: 64Mhz
File size: 19.9Mb

Jonathan & Greg
***Please leave comments.

Alternate link: Switchpod

Awesome Train podcast #002

2009-02-10T20:43:00.001-08:00

February 10th, 2009

Show #2 where we try to iron things out a bit more, however... the echo from the speakers in our sweet, state of the art studio is ridiculous. We have a solution in mind so get ready for better audio soon.

In this podcast more indie music with talk about Christian Bale screaming on set and the various YouTube videos stemming from it; Michael Phelps discussions; and the hot topic of the moment, Chris Brown allegedly beating up Rihanna. We always try to keep the podcast clean but if there are little kids out there who want a ticket for the Awesome Train, today's show might not be for you.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #002

Songs played:
Lykee Li: 'Dance Dance Dance'
Lily Allen: 'The Fear'
Fight Like Apes: 'Tie Me Up with Jackets'
Jeremy Jay: 'Airwalker'
Cloud Cult: 'Love You All'

Links to topics:
Christian Bale goes Ape Sh!t on set of Terminator 4
David Goes to the Dentist
Bale Out - RevoLucian's Christian Bale Remix
David Goes to the Dentist
Really!? with Seth Meyers (Michael Phelps)
The Superficial
What Would Tyler Durden Do

Exported at: 64Mhz
File size: 19Mb

Jonathan & Greg
***Please leave comments.

Alternate link: Switchpod

Awesome Train podcast #001 (aka Troubleshooting Show)

2009-01-29T20:37:00.000-08:00

January 28th, 2009

Here is our first attempt, things are clearly rough quality but entertaining (at least to us). Indie music, chatting about Jessica Simpson gaining a wee bit o' weight and our search for some decent train sound effects. More to come.

DOWNLOAD Awesome Train podcast #01 (aka Troubleshooting Show)

Songs played:
Little Boots 'Stuck on Repeat'
M83: 'Graveyard Girl
White Lies: 'From the Stars'
She & Him: 'This is Not a Test'
Joy Zipper: 'Just Like Heaven' (the Cure cover)

Exported at: 64Mhz
File size: 15Mb

Jonathan & Greg
***If anyone wanders across this and downloads it, please leave comments.

Alternate link: Switchpod